FOMO, Loneliness, and Social Media’s Effect on the Mind…

Deleting Instagram cured my FOMO.

What exactly is FOMO?

Well, according to Oxford the definition of FOMO is “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.”

I believe this to be true for social media. And I believe a huge factor influencing FOMO is Stories. Or highlight reels as I like to call them. Facebook stories, Instagram stories, Snapchat stories… they (at most times) are subtle brag video clips; depriving you of enjoying what you have, and wishing you could be as cool as they are, or be where they are. In a few seconds, stories take you out of the moment (your moment) and steal your contentment and the little happiness that you have away from you. Whether you notice it or not. I’ve done it too, I know I’m a hypocrite. Honestly I’m trying to cut back on all social media it is hard though. One step at a time…First Instagram, next Facebook, twitter and finally Snapchat.

Everyone probably knows by now that social media has many negative side effects that contribute to poor mental health. I believe this to be true as well. I mean the science is all there. That being said, I think we can take it a step further and say that; Active and frequent social media use, lowers the users confidence and self esteem. Let me explain…

It lowers your own personal self confidence because you are subconsciously comparing your life to everyone else’s fake online life. That isn’t even real and you start to think that you are not good enough the way you are.

A study published in the Journal of Social & Clinical Psychology concludes that there is a “link between the use of social media and the negative effects on the users feelings of loneliness and depression.” You feel lonely looking at how much fun people are having on their stories, and you begin to doubt and question your own life and how it could be better…faker. Less genuine.

We live in a world now where people will take photos; trying to get the BEST photo, to get a lot of likes and followers. What morals & values do we have anymore? How did social media become this contest of who has the biggest ego and most luxurious life?

Why can’t we go back to the days when we weren’t glued to our phones? When we talked face to face, not through a glass screen, not through a mask…

What happened to truly believing in each other, really communicating with each other, and actually listening to each other?

I wanted to get back to that.

Instagram started to feel annoying, too fake and a waste of time. I felt like it was taking up all my time and I was willingly giving it away. It started to feel like a contest that I was always losing because I wasn’t posting nearly enough as I should be, or so I thought.

Then I would begin to compare myself and think I’m not good enough. Suddenly I would be anxious and depressed for 3 fucking hours!!! And I was doing this TO MYSELF! Then one day it hit me; why the fuck am I doing this to myself? So I did some research on social media addiction and it’s effect on mental health and it gives you anxiety, depression, and low self esteem even if you don’t notice it. A lot of people will think it doesn’t affect them but how SURE are you, that it doesn’t affect you…? Like… really???

So I decided to do a little experiment.

I deleted the Instagram app from my phone and did a 4 month detox and started journaling how all my feeling to see if my mental health would improve. After the first week without Instagram I noticed I was going on phone trying to find the app, and then I would remember that it wasn’t there anymore. I wanted to scroll on my phone so badly but I couldn’t so I was looking at old photos on my camera roll, anything to scroll. That got boring real quick so I started doing other productive things. Cleaning, dancing, painting, working out, writing. All of these things truly make me feel better than being on Instagram.

In my opinion, social media is a socially acceptable addiction. Whereas so many other addictions like gambling are not. Although the two are quite similar. I think social media is more addicting actually. Let me explain…

In gambling, say slot machines you want to get a row of hearts, $$$ ‘s , stars etc. And then you get money. Cha Ching! On social media, particularly Instagram; you want a bunch of hearts, and comments plus validation from people that you’re attractive, beautiful, cool whatever it may be… then you post more photos of yourself to get more followers… for who though? It’s all a numbers game at the end of the day and I don’t want to be part of that torture game anymore.

After being off Instagram for 4 months my anxiety decreased, my FOMO was cured, I gained more self esteem…I had more time to do things I love like going to the beach, dancing and writing. And I even got into new hobbies like gardening and discovering the benefits of natural healthcare like essential oils. I’ll probably delete all social media soon and I actually believe it will make me feel better.

Instagram began to feel like a competition to be the fakest. The expectations and the pressure to constantly post your life was too much for me. I don’t want to post my life for people who don’t really care about me.

I’ve matured and learned a lot in my 20’s and I have realized I just want to enjoy and live my life for myself now. Not for an app and not through a lens.

My opinion on Covid-19, masks and our human right to freedom of CHOICE!

This is it everyone. The time has come…

The Apocalypse is now! Look around you…Everyone has a mask on, buried into their devices and controlled by the media.

Apocalypse: “from the Ancient Greek word meaning unveiling. What has been revealed?”

Well, let me see, ah let’s start with… how about A GLOBAL ELITE PEDOPHILLIA RING! Or how about A GLOBAL PANDEMIC/PLANDEMIC!

Everyone is wearing masks now. Well, at least a lot more people then before. I don’t care if you wear a mask or not thats your prerogative; however please mask wearers: don’t JUDGE ME for MY CHOICE to not wear a mask. I don’t judge you for your CHOICE to wear a mask. I refuse to live in fear.

If you are so confident that the masks work and social distancing working than you shouldn’t even care about me CHOOSING not to wear one. As long as you are wearing one, you are safe. I’ve always believed in PRO CHOICE for everything and it is my damn human right to breathe in fresh air if I CHOOSE to and not my own carbon dioxide on top of the scorching summer heat thank you very much.

Who would have thought that in 2020 it would be considered selfish to simply breathe openly in public!? Crazy!

Government: originated from ancient Latin “guvernare” meaning “too CONTROL” & “mentís” meaning “the MIND.”

I think there is a bigger plan at play here. This is population CONTROL. To see how far the government (to CONTROL, the MIND) & the mainstream media (Fear, Newspeak, Propaganda) Can CONTROL the masses… Just like in George Orwell’s classic novel 1984.

When I was a child, I did not like Costco….

I cried and cried when my parents took me there. I didn’t have a CHOICE, I went wherever they went. Honestly, I have no idea why Costco made me so upset I just did not like the feeling being in there. Years later I understand why I didn’t like Costco for all those years as an innocent child. I still don’t like Costco. I get the appeal; Bulk food at a low price, what more could you want. However, I feel this cult like energy when I go there. You need a membership to get in, I’ve been kicked out because I was a third party, and they force people to wear masks there…I saw this video of an old woman refusing to wear a mask at a Costco and causing a scene because they wouldn’t let her shop in the store without wearing one. What happened to respect your elders?

She probably had some sort of breathing problem or was claustrophobic who knows, who really cares but if I was her I would’ve just left and took my money elsewhere. Forcing someone especially an old woman to wear a mask!? What has this world come too!? Fuck!? Where are we going!? Jesus H.W Christ save us all!

Costco now and in the future

2020: “We only serve people with face masks.”

2021: “We only serve people with Covid-pass’s”

2022: “We only serve people with microchips! …”

We are in seriously dangerous times folks. Although Hope is not completely lost.

You can take back CONTROL. Of your own MINDS, BODIES, and SPIRITS. Get in touch with nature. Take deep breaths of fresh air, meditate and reflect on everything. Question everything. We need to come together like the Beatles said not against each other to fight for our freedom. So that the rest of the plot of Divergent doesn’t play out in real life…

I am a flake. No more. 

So I need to get something off my chest and I hope what I am about to say can help some people. Right now, we have an epidemic of flaky people. They’re everywhere. Cancelling plans last minute, not responding to texts/calls and maybe even not showing up at all. Sometimes I am a flake. I get it. Things happen and people have to cancel. But over the last couple days it has happened to me 4 TIMES BY DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!!! I’m at my breaking point. 

A “flake” is described as ‘someone who generally makes plans with you, promises to do things, but can never seem to follow through with plans.’ When you confront them about their behaviour they will either deny it, get defensive, or simply run away.

It breaks my heart to realize this definition describes people in my social circle. 
I think part of the problem is we are losing our basic, respectful, communication skills because of cell phones. Since it’s so easy to text & call nowadays, it’s equally easy to NOT text or call. We never make time to connect with people without a screen anymore. Honestly it shocks me that people actually think that always canceling plans last minute and not responding to texts is OK!?!? Personally, I find it extremely immature, mean, and completely disrespectful. It’s a miracle if people actually show up on time, or even at all. 

The more I think about it, the more it actually crushes my spirit. I have lots of friends with whom I’d love to catch up with. However, it’s basically IMPOSSIBLE to make plans with them that they ACTUALLY follow through with. 

Then, after awhile I just give up. The constant disappointment becomes too exhausting, especially when you don’t feel effort being reciprocated. So my solution is…. -Call More, Text Less (Therefore Less miscommunications) 

-No longer will I cancel plans last minute with someone unless I physically cannot move. 

-No longer will I let a friend cancel plans last minute more than 3 times. 

And my phone will be off all day Sunday’s for a screen time break. 

Please comment if you have an opinion on this topic. I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why- Season One Review

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So I don’t usually make long posts like this, but after binge watching 13 reasons why I wanted to get some things off my chest about the hit Netflix series.
The show has received some backlash from suicide prevention groups. They think the show “glorifies suicide” and I’ve heard people say the show uses suicide as “revenge.” Personally, I didn’t get that message from 13 Reasons Why. I believe these suicide prevention groups missed a crucial part.
The show explains that the people in your life hurt when you hurt yourself. It puts a much needed spotlight on sexual assault and bullying. 13 reasons why effectively shows how everyone’s actions affect other people in some way, good or bad. Each person who received the tapes negatively affected Hannah’s life to lead her to want to take her own life. Then I realized something that Hannah didn’t. She didn’t realize how much more suffering she would cause by committing suicide. Her parents suffered. Clay was madly in love with her so he suffered greatly, and everyone else on the tapes suffered in their own way.
I learned that you should be kind to everyone because you truly never know how much pain someone is in. I love the scene when Clay tells Hannah he loves her because it teaches everyone that you shouldn’t wait to tell someone you love them if you do. You never know what storms people are going through, or when their last day will be. So be kind to everyone. It could save their life.
“You can’t love someone back to life. But you can try.” -13 Reasons Why

This is why you need the slip dress…

Everyone wants to be ahead of the game when it comes to fashion trends. For some people it just comes naturally. These people set the trends, and other people follow along. If you’re not the kind of girl that knows what’s going to be in style beforehand, then I’m here for you babe. I’ve put together my predictions for Spring fashion trends and added where you can get the less expensive alternative. You’re welcome!

THE DRESS IS….THE SLIP DRESS

Ok, anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE dresses so that is why I am going to start with my spring dress prediction for 2016.huhkuhihi

This spring is all about the sexy, flirty slip dress. This dress makes you look and feel seductive and confident. It’s supposed to look like you effortlessly  just ‘rolled out of bed’ , (preferably with a smoking hot guy and simply went on with your day.) It’s like the classy walk of shame. My advice is to get one made out of silk, but you may have to fork out some money for a silk one. An Alexander Wang slip dress can cost anywhere from $700-$1,000!  Or you can get one with lace on it that is just as fashionable as one of the high end designer dresses. I found one at Forever 21 Canada for only $22.90. 00183403-02

This slip has the black lace on the top part of the dress, which makes it look more like a dress than a slip. (which is what it actually is.) If you think this dress is too short, you can always opt for a longer version or add a pair of knee high black socks or boots to complete this sexy look. Finish the look with a black leather jacket or blazer and you’re ready to go out on the town.

FLORAL CROCHET-PANELED MESH SLIP

CAD $22.90 

 

THE SHOE IS…THE SNEAKER

After dresses, my next favourite thing to purchase is shoes. This spring is going to be all about the comfortable sneaker and I am so happy about this!! Kanye West’s shoe line with Addidas ‘YEEZY BOOST 350’ designed by Kanye himself is the sneaker that is all the rage right now. However, they are mostly sold out except for some that are still available on eBay for over $1,000 a pop!  Luckily I found a pair of Nike sneakers that look somewhat similar and are only $155, so you don’t have to break the bank.

NIKE AIR FORCE 1 ID-$140

THE TOP IS…OFF THE SHOULDER

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For spring it’s all about showing off those sexy shoulders with off the shoulder sweaters and tops.  It honestly doesn’t matter what colours you pick, but keep in mind some of the spring colour predictions are; beige brown, mustard yellow, light rose pink and grey.  I definitely recommend adding a necklace or a fabric choker around your neck for some extra style points. There is an American Apparel off the shoulder top for $46.00 that I love because it comes with a choker, and four different colours. (see below)rsa83140_prettyinpink

 

AMERICAN APPAREL CHOKER TOP-$46.00

NOW LAST BUT NOT AT ALL LEAST…THE PANT IS…

THE JEAN!

To be for specific it is the retro, somewhat distressed, baggy jean. It’s the type of jean that you don’t have to get from an expensive, designer store. You can get this jean trend from vintage and thrift stores such as Value Village.  And BONUS once summer rolls around you can cut these jeans and turn them into high-waisted shorts.

The lighter colour jeans are more in style for spring/summer, and both distressed and non-distressed jeans are in style this year. And you can always add some rip’s and tears to your cheap, thrift store jeans that you got for like $7!

Retro, baggy, high waisted, distressed jean

WATCH OUT for “BANKS”- The Female Version of The Weeknd..?

You may have no idea who Banks is but according to Fox Weekly she is the “American Singer/Songwriter to watch out for”, and I have no choice but to completely agree! Her hauntingly, beautiful voice captivates your ears. While the sexy, laid-back lyrics keep you listening to her sultry R&B songs. Her full name is Jillian Rose Banks which may or may not be gossiped about, however in contrary, her stage name “Banks” I believe will be talked about on the radio in the months, weeks, or even days to come….

large (6)Banks has been compared, similarly to the Juno Award winning artist ‘The Weeknd”, but is in no way copying the R&B singer. Banks is a unique gem all on her own. Her Debut album “Goddess” was released on September 5th, 2014 and she is finally getting more of the credit that she righteously deserves. Her single off the album “Waiting Game” was featured on a Victoria Secret Commercial and in a trailer for the soon-to-be released film “The Longest Ride.”

Some of her other singles that need to be listened to for the “raw” sound are “Drowning”, “Beggin for Thread”, “Brain” and two of her tracks which wound up being featured on the October 9th, 2014 episode of Greys Anatomy; “Goddess” and “You Should Know Where I’m Coming From.”

Her sensual tone, and lyrically poetic songs make Banks my top pick for singer that we’ll all be talking about. You’ll be hearing her single “Waiting Game” on the radio very soon. Just wait for it.

50 Shades of Grey Soundtrack Review

50 Shades of Grey Soundtrack Review

 

Although the 50 Shades of Grey film was a letdown, the soundtrack to the erotic film sizzled in comparison. The soundtrack was the only part of the film that made me able to sit through the entire film. The soundtrack features music from Sia, Jessica Ware, Skylar Grey, Beyoncé, and electronic rock band AWOLNATION. Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love” remix proves to be even better than the original. As it masters the sultry, sexy vibe , yet doesn’t lose the essence of the song. As if that wasn’t enough, a genius by the name of Boots remixes Beyoncé’s “Haunted” , a track he produced on Beyoncé, and while it doesn’t surpass the original, it comes awfully close.(Unfortunately both of Beyoncé’s songs off the soundtrack aren’t currently on Spotify.) The soundtrack almost sort of takes you through a musical journey featuring my must-listen-to-tracks which consist of:

1.) “Crazy in Love Remix”-by Beyoncé

2.) ‘I Put a Spell on You”-by Annie Lennox

3.) “Meet me in the Middle”-by Jessica Ware

4.) “Haunted (Michael Diamond Remix)”-by Beyoncé

5.)”Love Me Like You Do.”-by Ellie Goulding

6.) “Earned It (Fifty Shades of Grey)”-by The Weeknd

The 50 Shades of Grey soundtrack mixed classic oldies like Frank Sinatra remastered version of “Witchcraft”, and Annie Lennox’s hit “I Put a Spell on You”, as well as new music from The Weeknd (“Earned it”) and Ellie Goulding (“Love me like you do.) The magnificent combination of new and old songs is why I believe this may just be the soundtrack album of the year.

Coachella Inspired Music Festival Trends

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Whether it’s Coachella, Pemberton Music Festival or the Squamish Valley Music Festival, you have to push the envelope when it comes to fashion.
By blending bohemian-hippie style, rock & roll-punk,with a hint of girlie fashion trends, you can have the best outfit for the music festival you got tickets to this summer! It’s all about accessorizing with jewelry, head pieces, hats, etc.
With that being said, here are my tips and tricks to be the most fashionable girl at the festival!

The first thing I do when I put together an outfit, is I figure out what kind of theme I am generally going to be aiming for. Am I going for a more girly look with flowers? Or am I wanting more of a edgier look with combat boots perhaps? It is important to stick to somewhat of a theme when deciding on an outfit because if you don’t stick to one theme you can look like you are trying too hard.

For example this outfit below has too much going on.
She’s got bohemian-hippie patterns, mixed with a rocker shirt, with way too many accessories!
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What F.R.I.E.N.D.S taught me about life…

What F.R.I.E.N.D.S taught me about life...

1. ‘Life is unpredictable.’
-All of the characters started out at the bottom, struggling through hard times. Life changed drastically for all of them.

Chandler: Fell in love with his best friend, changed jobs, and bought a house in a neighbourhood with his wife and kids when he thought he would “Die Alone!”

Rachel: Found her independence by being able to depend on only herself and not her fathers credit cards.
She never thought she would end up with Ross but everything happens for a reason and they were simply meant to end up together.

Ross: Was married for 8 YEARS!
Talk about life being unpredictable! Finding out your wife of 8 years is attracted to other women.
Even though he was divorced three times, he never ever once showed that he didn’t believe in love. Ross and Rachel’s relationship I believe to be quite realistic. Life got in the way of their relationship countless times, but it all worked out in the end.

Monica: Never in a million years did she think that she would end up falling for her next-door neighbor and best friend Chandler Bing. And she clearly never expected Richard to confess his love for her after all that time.

Joey: His acting career was probably the most unpredictable part of his life. From being broke, borrowing money from his roommate and acting in plays that got bad reviews to being
Dr. Drake Ramoray on “Days of our Lives”, winning awards and attending A-list parties. If you stick to a dream, and have friends to support you, you just can’t fail. Joey defines this.

Phoebe: From being homeless on the streets, never having been in a serious relationship to being her own boss and getting married to the love of her life, Pheebs life was very unpredictable. She never really had a plan. She did whatever she felt like doing, in that moment and she always did it with a crazy, unique sense of humour. Her life being unpredictable is an understatement.

2. “That you can’t define yourself in terms of money. That its about values and morals and your ability to give and receive love.” -Phoebe Buffay

3. True friends won’t let lending money be an issue.
-Chandler constantly lent Joey money and I don’t think he could have fully paid him back. But with best friends money doesn’t really matter.
What matters most is people.
The relationships you have with people is the most important thing in the world.

4. To get where you want to be career-wise, you have to do the work nobody wants to do.
-Like Rachel with her first job in fashion, getting coffee for people and sorting all the hangers. And Monica working at the 50’s themed dinner. Everything starts from something.

5. Nerdy, shy, awkward guys are most likely going to be the loyal, faithful and the marrying type.
-Chandler : awkward, shy, jokester who always said the wrong thing …marries Monica
-Ross : Nerdy, desperate, hopeless romantic who can’t flirt at all….marries…Carole, Emily and Rachel.
-Joey: Ladies man, cool guy….doesn’t ever settle down.

7. It’s perfectly ok to not have a plan all the time.
-Ok none of them really had a plan, and even if you do God has another plan and it’s probably even better than yours so just go with whatever comes your way, be yourself and see what happens.

8. No matter how stressful your day was, it’s so hard to care in a relaxing bubble bath with bath salts, music and candles.

9. Never make a pro and con list about two people that you love.
If you truly loved the first person you wouldn’t even consider getting back together with the other person, regardless how many cons out-way the pros.

-So many of Ross and Rachel’s fights could have been avoided but I really do believe everything happens for a reason and I think the fights made them stronger as a couple.

10. Everybody has a lobster!