FOMO, Loneliness, and Social Media’s Effect on the Mind…

Deleting Instagram cured my FOMO.

What exactly is FOMO?

Well, according to Oxford the definition of FOMO is “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.”

I believe this to be true for social media. And I believe a huge factor influencing FOMO is Stories. Or highlight reels as I like to call them. Facebook stories, Instagram stories, Snapchat stories… they (at most times) are subtle brag video clips; depriving you of enjoying what you have, and wishing you could be as cool as they are, or be where they are. In a few seconds, stories take you out of the moment (your moment) and steal your contentment and the little happiness that you have away from you. Whether you notice it or not. I’ve done it too, I know I’m a hypocrite. Honestly I’m trying to cut back on all social media it is hard though. One step at a time…First Instagram, next Facebook, twitter and finally Snapchat.

Everyone probably knows by now that social media has many negative side effects that contribute to poor mental health. I believe this to be true as well. I mean the science is all there. That being said, I think we can take it a step further and say that; Active and frequent social media use, lowers the users confidence and self esteem. Let me explain…

It lowers your own personal self confidence because you are subconsciously comparing your life to everyone else’s fake online life. That isn’t even real and you start to think that you are not good enough the way you are.

A study published in the Journal of Social & Clinical Psychology concludes that there is a “link between the use of social media and the negative effects on the users feelings of loneliness and depression.” You feel lonely looking at how much fun people are having on their stories, and you begin to doubt and question your own life and how it could be better…faker. Less genuine.

We live in a world now where people will take photos; trying to get the BEST photo, to get a lot of likes and followers. What morals & values do we have anymore? How did social media become this contest of who has the biggest ego and most luxurious life?

Why can’t we go back to the days when we weren’t glued to our phones? When we talked face to face, not through a glass screen, not through a mask…

What happened to truly believing in each other, really communicating with each other, and actually listening to each other?

I wanted to get back to that.

Instagram started to feel annoying, too fake and a waste of time. I felt like it was taking up all my time and I was willingly giving it away. It started to feel like a contest that I was always losing because I wasn’t posting nearly enough as I should be, or so I thought.

Then I would begin to compare myself and think I’m not good enough. Suddenly I would be anxious and depressed for 3 fucking hours!!! And I was doing this TO MYSELF! Then one day it hit me; why the fuck am I doing this to myself? So I did some research on social media addiction and it’s effect on mental health and it gives you anxiety, depression, and low self esteem even if you don’t notice it. A lot of people will think it doesn’t affect them but how SURE are you, that it doesn’t affect you…? Like… really???

So I decided to do a little experiment.

I deleted the Instagram app from my phone and did a 4 month detox and started journaling how all my feeling to see if my mental health would improve. After the first week without Instagram I noticed I was going on phone trying to find the app, and then I would remember that it wasn’t there anymore. I wanted to scroll on my phone so badly but I couldn’t so I was looking at old photos on my camera roll, anything to scroll. That got boring real quick so I started doing other productive things. Cleaning, dancing, painting, working out, writing. All of these things truly make me feel better than being on Instagram.

In my opinion, social media is a socially acceptable addiction. Whereas so many other addictions like gambling are not. Although the two are quite similar. I think social media is more addicting actually. Let me explain…

In gambling, say slot machines you want to get a row of hearts, $$$ ‘s , stars etc. And then you get money. Cha Ching! On social media, particularly Instagram; you want a bunch of hearts, and comments plus validation from people that you’re attractive, beautiful, cool whatever it may be… then you post more photos of yourself to get more followers… for who though? It’s all a numbers game at the end of the day and I don’t want to be part of that torture game anymore.

After being off Instagram for 4 months my anxiety decreased, my FOMO was cured, I gained more self esteem…I had more time to do things I love like going to the beach, dancing and writing. And I even got into new hobbies like gardening and discovering the benefits of natural healthcare like essential oils. I’ll probably delete all social media soon and I actually believe it will make me feel better.

Instagram began to feel like a competition to be the fakest. The expectations and the pressure to constantly post your life was too much for me. I don’t want to post my life for people who don’t really care about me.

I’ve matured and learned a lot in my 20’s and I have realized I just want to enjoy and live my life for myself now. Not for an app and not through a lens.

My opinion on Covid-19, masks and our human right to freedom of CHOICE!

This is it everyone. The time has come…

The Apocalypse is now! Look around you…Everyone has a mask on, buried into their devices and controlled by the media.

Apocalypse: “from the Ancient Greek word meaning unveiling. What has been revealed?”

Well, let me see, ah let’s start with… how about A GLOBAL ELITE PEDOPHILLIA RING! Or how about A GLOBAL PANDEMIC/PLANDEMIC!

Everyone is wearing masks now. Well, at least a lot more people then before. I don’t care if you wear a mask or not thats your prerogative; however please mask wearers: don’t JUDGE ME for MY CHOICE to not wear a mask. I don’t judge you for your CHOICE to wear a mask. I refuse to live in fear.

If you are so confident that the masks work and social distancing working than you shouldn’t even care about me CHOOSING not to wear one. As long as you are wearing one, you are safe. I’ve always believed in PRO CHOICE for everything and it is my damn human right to breathe in fresh air if I CHOOSE to and not my own carbon dioxide on top of the scorching summer heat thank you very much.

Who would have thought that in 2020 it would be considered selfish to simply breathe openly in public!? Crazy!

Government: originated from ancient Latin “guvernare” meaning “too CONTROL” & “mentís” meaning “the MIND.”

I think there is a bigger plan at play here. This is population CONTROL. To see how far the government (to CONTROL, the MIND) & the mainstream media (Fear, Newspeak, Propaganda) Can CONTROL the masses… Just like in George Orwell’s classic novel 1984.

When I was a child, I did not like Costco….

I cried and cried when my parents took me there. I didn’t have a CHOICE, I went wherever they went. Honestly, I have no idea why Costco made me so upset I just did not like the feeling being in there. Years later I understand why I didn’t like Costco for all those years as an innocent child. I still don’t like Costco. I get the appeal; Bulk food at a low price, what more could you want. However, I feel this cult like energy when I go there. You need a membership to get in, I’ve been kicked out because I was a third party, and they force people to wear masks there…I saw this video of an old woman refusing to wear a mask at a Costco and causing a scene because they wouldn’t let her shop in the store without wearing one. What happened to respect your elders?

She probably had some sort of breathing problem or was claustrophobic who knows, who really cares but if I was her I would’ve just left and took my money elsewhere. Forcing someone especially an old woman to wear a mask!? What has this world come too!? Fuck!? Where are we going!? Jesus H.W Christ save us all!

Costco now and in the future

2020: “We only serve people with face masks.”

2021: “We only serve people with Covid-pass’s”

2022: “We only serve people with microchips! …”

We are in seriously dangerous times folks. Although Hope is not completely lost.

You can take back CONTROL. Of your own MINDS, BODIES, and SPIRITS. Get in touch with nature. Take deep breaths of fresh air, meditate and reflect on everything. Question everything. We need to come together like the Beatles said not against each other to fight for our freedom. So that the rest of the plot of Divergent doesn’t play out in real life…

This is why you need the slip dress…

Everyone wants to be ahead of the game when it comes to fashion trends. For some people it just comes naturally. These people set the trends, and other people follow along. If you’re not the kind of girl that knows what’s going to be in style beforehand, then I’m here for you babe. I’ve put together my predictions for Spring fashion trends and added where you can get the less expensive alternative. You’re welcome!

THE DRESS IS….THE SLIP DRESS

Ok, anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE dresses so that is why I am going to start with my spring dress prediction for 2016.huhkuhihi

This spring is all about the sexy, flirty slip dress. This dress makes you look and feel seductive and confident. It’s supposed to look like you effortlessly  just ‘rolled out of bed’ , (preferably with a smoking hot guy and simply went on with your day.) It’s like the classy walk of shame. My advice is to get one made out of silk, but you may have to fork out some money for a silk one. An Alexander Wang slip dress can cost anywhere from $700-$1,000!  Or you can get one with lace on it that is just as fashionable as one of the high end designer dresses. I found one at Forever 21 Canada for only $22.90. 00183403-02

This slip has the black lace on the top part of the dress, which makes it look more like a dress than a slip. (which is what it actually is.) If you think this dress is too short, you can always opt for a longer version or add a pair of knee high black socks or boots to complete this sexy look. Finish the look with a black leather jacket or blazer and you’re ready to go out on the town.

FLORAL CROCHET-PANELED MESH SLIP

CAD $22.90 

 

THE SHOE IS…THE SNEAKER

After dresses, my next favourite thing to purchase is shoes. This spring is going to be all about the comfortable sneaker and I am so happy about this!! Kanye West’s shoe line with Addidas ‘YEEZY BOOST 350’ designed by Kanye himself is the sneaker that is all the rage right now. However, they are mostly sold out except for some that are still available on eBay for over $1,000 a pop!  Luckily I found a pair of Nike sneakers that look somewhat similar and are only $155, so you don’t have to break the bank.

NIKE AIR FORCE 1 ID-$140

THE TOP IS…OFF THE SHOULDER

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For spring it’s all about showing off those sexy shoulders with off the shoulder sweaters and tops.  It honestly doesn’t matter what colours you pick, but keep in mind some of the spring colour predictions are; beige brown, mustard yellow, light rose pink and grey.  I definitely recommend adding a necklace or a fabric choker around your neck for some extra style points. There is an American Apparel off the shoulder top for $46.00 that I love because it comes with a choker, and four different colours. (see below)rsa83140_prettyinpink

 

AMERICAN APPAREL CHOKER TOP-$46.00

NOW LAST BUT NOT AT ALL LEAST…THE PANT IS…

THE JEAN!

To be for specific it is the retro, somewhat distressed, baggy jean. It’s the type of jean that you don’t have to get from an expensive, designer store. You can get this jean trend from vintage and thrift stores such as Value Village.  And BONUS once summer rolls around you can cut these jeans and turn them into high-waisted shorts.

The lighter colour jeans are more in style for spring/summer, and both distressed and non-distressed jeans are in style this year. And you can always add some rip’s and tears to your cheap, thrift store jeans that you got for like $7!

Retro, baggy, high waisted, distressed jean